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Bearsman
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Jokes

Thought it may be time for a joke or two in these trying times...

 

God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and asked, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test 'Balance.' "

"Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor.
Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things."

God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a specific land area and said, "What's that one?"

"That's Melbourne, the most glorious place on earth. The world's most liveable city. There are beautiful trees and gardens, and days filled with sunshine.
The people from Melbourne are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world.
They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance."

God smiled, "I will create Canberra.... wait till you see the idiots I put there."

NorthPort
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Haha..nice work Bearsman

 


Bearsman
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Success is..

At age 4 .....  success is .... not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 .... success is .... having friends.
At age 17 .... success is .... having a driving licence.
At age 20 .... success is .... having sex.
At age 35 .... success is .... having money.
At age 50 .... success is .... having money.
At age 60 .... success is .... having sex.
At age 70 .... success is .... having a driving licence.
At age 75 .... success is .... having friends.
At age 80 .... success is .... not peeing in your pants